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Frequently Asked Questions

For personal reasons I choose to keep my anonymity. I decided to create this website because for as long as I can remember I've always been the go-to for my family, friends, friends of friends, even strangers when they are in need of relationship advice. I believe I have figured out a side to men that checks out every time. I have had the idea of creating a website for quite some time now but life happens.. and I thought of every excuse under the sun to procrastinate. I'm here now and I'm fully committed to my readers.  I'm going to give you the advice you need, but it's up to you to take it.

How can he not want to be with me when I do everything for them?

  • The answer is simple:  less is more.  What is keeping you so hooked on this person? Is it everything they do for you? Chances are no.  Chances are the reason you want them so badly and are here now seeking advice is because of their unavailability and unwillingness to do what you want them to do.

  • You have to remind yourself of the very reasons why you are so attached and smitten with this person and understand that THAT is what you need to project on to them. It's working on you, so observe, learn and reflect it back onto them.  

  • So back to the question:  If you are already sleeping with this person, cooking for them, doing their laundry, walking their dog, cleaning up after them, giving them rides to places, lending them money and making yourself available to hang out with them whenever they want................ why would they put effort into trying any harder with you when they are already getting everything they want.

  • Yet you still don’t have that ring on your finger, that relationship public on facebook, no introduction to the family, or no pictures of you on social media sites, etc. 

  • You have to make yourself unavailable, even if this is your boyfriend of four years. Guys don't wake up in the morning and say.. you know what? Today I want to be an a**hole to this chic.  No, but they are wired like all human beings, to be more attracted to what they can't have and what’s not readily available. 

I always advise people, if you really really want to do something,

really want to say something, 9 times out of 10 you should do the opposite.

It isn't necessarily the "right" thing to say to a reader, but that's not what

this site is for, I'm here to say what you don't want to hear, but what works.

What can I say or do to make him think about me or rethink how he just treated me?

  • If you want this person to think of you, the best way to make this happen as quickly as possible is to stop thinking about them.  Easier said than done, I know - trust me.  Like you, I am a human being with feelings.  If you find yourself wanting a certain individual to think about you, they aren’t going to think of you.. that’s life. 

  • It’s when you start becoming busy with your own life, focused on yourself and your happiness that that person will start thinking of you and reaching out.  There’s famous quotes saying things will happen when you least expect it.  That’s no myth so my best advice to you is the more you want it the less it will happen, start getting busy and keep your mind off the matter.

I'm going to give you the advice you need, but it's up to you to take it.  It's difficult to gain the upper hand in a relationship, but if you have the determination and resistance, you will get the treatment you deserve.  If this was easy, everyone would be on top and websites like mine wouldn’t exist.  The reason it is so hard to stay on top in a relationship because it's so much easier to act on your heart than think with your head.

How can I regain the upper hand in this situation?

  • What are all the things that made this person like you in the first place?  The fact that you were hitting the gym? Your confidence?  How you would go out and have fun with your girlfriends? The length of time it took your to respond to him and hang out with him because you weren’t really as interested in the beginning? 

  • Think. Think back to what made this person crazy for you, what made this person want to make you his girlfriend.  People get used to people, and when things get too comfortable, feelings start to fade.  New feelings arise for something that is more exciting and less available.

Why does he think its okay to talk to me like shit?

To be completely honest, every time you forgive a guy, he takes you less and less seriously. This also ties into not making big deals out of small situations, so that when you do, he knows  you are serious and really tries to understand where you are coming from. Stop allowing it! He will only continue to do what you accept, so just don't accept it anymore.


Forgiveness is great and I am all about it, but it's a fine line to be treaded lightly because you don't want your words becoming meaningless.  

I hear some of my girlfriends say, “I’m the prettiest girl he can ever get, he needs to realize what he has!” Well. The truth of the matter is, when a guy gets comfortable with you, your looks fade to him.

  • What everyone else sees, he no longer does. He doesn’t see you as beautiful as you were the first day he met you, it's only human.

  • He’s had you already, he’s gotten used to you already - he's not doing it to be an asshole. Don't rely on looks. You need to have a deeper connection with your partner that triumphs the aesthetically pleasing.

  • The majority of guys cheat on and leave their more attractive girlfriend with or for a less unattractive one. It’s not about looks. It’s about the excitement and the new chase. That girl who seems less attractive to you probably has better game than you. 

  • You could literally be shitting on another girl with your face and body but still appear as less attractive in a mans eyes due to the way you act. This is a new girl who doesn’t really care about him, who isn’t up his ass (kind of like how you weren't in the beginning). You’re the one he’s had, who’s calling him, on his every move, acting pressed. Which way would you go? It’s up to you to make him feel like he doesn’t have you 100%. This is to guard *your* heart.

  • I always see girls quoting and posting "Treat her like you're still trying to win her, and that's how you'll never lose her" or "If you always treat them just like you did in the beginning of your relationship, there will never be an end" but this goes for girls too. Treat him the way you did in the beginning and you won't lose him either.

How long will it be before I hear from him (after a break up)?

  • Guys and girls think so differently. Don’t try and use your thoughts and reasoning to understand a guys meaning or motive.  I can’t stress it enough, we interpret situations extremely differently.

  • The answer to this question is this: as soon as you genuinely stop thinking about him, checking up on him and just focus on you and your happiness, you will hear from him.

  • I know someone who really doesn't like when I tell her this but it's true. She uploads these hot pictures of herself, she puts up these "I don't give a f*ck" quotes, she tries so hard to make it seem like she is so totally over the guy. Meanwhile the guy isn't doing any of this and he's making more of a statement than she ever could. 

  • Don't make it seem like you're moving on, don't jump to another guy (that's the worst), don't vent on social media about how you don't give a f*ck or whatever it is you want to post - actually move past it and realize getting over it is the best revenge. SMILE EVERY DAY. Before you know it, that guy you were once all over, will be knocking on your life door again.

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