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Do's and Dont's

This is the thing that most people are missing.  He/she isn't the one who has changed.  It's you.  

Your feelings got stronger, you became more attached, more needy, more insecure - in general, more negative. He/she doesn't like it.  Who would?

Think about how you were acting when he/she was crazy about you.  In the beginning maybe?  At a time where you spent a couple months apart and decided to give things another go?  I know we are all raised to think that it is OK to change when you fall in love, and I believe that too. Yet, I think there's a difference between feeling a deep love for someone and acting in a way that will turn your partner (or anyone really) off.

Maybe we have the wrong idea of love. Ask yourself... would you feel better knowing that your man is only your man because he can't give anyone else a chance? He's committed to you so you're all he's allowed to know?

Or... you're with your man, he wanted to take a break, you let him and he comes back crying for you.  Not because no one else wants him.  You know other girls want him, his game has you reading this here now.  But imagine if you let the leash loose sometimes - he'd always want to come back home.  In no way am I saying let this happen more than once, I'm just giving you a different perspective.

When you're confident like that, guys stay around you and are constantly realizing there's no one better than you as a whole package with the chemistry you two have.  There's always going to be a hotter girl, a girl with a better job, a richer girl, but not a better overall girl for him.  If there is, you two weren't meant to be and I always trust the plan for my life.

The point is to win the guys heart by letting him think he's making the shots but really you are.  Be smart.  Be the one who got away (without getting away) and outsmart your man to keep his heart forever yours.

Tips: Welcome


Smile, guys love happy girls.

Compliment him.

Take compliments well; "thank you, I appreciate you saying that."

Be humble.

Take your time responding to messages.

Wake him up with head in the morning.

Let petty things slide, if the issue isn't going to matter in 2 months, drop it.

Tell him how sexy he is to you, how he makes you feel.

Let him know how faithful and trustworthy you are.

Work out, go to the gym, keep yourself sexy! Not just for him, for yourself.  Doesn't it feel great when you're with your man and you're getting checked out by every other guy in the place? It makes you and your man feel great.

Have girls nights, regularly, time away from each other is a GREAT THING.

Reject his first attempt at kissing you, in a playful way, set the right mood.

Try and get a long with his friends, and it's a must you get along with his family (unless there are special circumstances) - it's important.

Make yourself a little unavailable, this refers to texts, phone calls and making plans to see each other.  Every guy loves a little mystery.

Make eye contact with him regularly.

Be in the "now".  Enjoy the present moment and focus on what's right in front of you. Don't let the past or the future take away from the present.

Exude confidence.

It's okay to answer his question with "I don't want to answer that question" instead of making up a lie or being honest about something you don't want to share. You'd be surprised how they react. Keep your calm if he does this later to you.

Give him a break if he's had a long/tough day.

Offer to massage him once in a while.

Give him S P A C E

Distance yourself if he makes you feel in any way pressured to hook up with him. I had a guy once try to kiss me after a couple dates and I told him if he tried to kiss me again I would leave because it made me feel uncomfortable.  He totally respected it and continues to reach out until this day. That was 2 years ago.

Talk highly about your friends and family, talk positive, be positive

Always encourage him or motivate him for the better of him, not for your selfishness. Karma has a way of rewarding you with great things this way.

Let him win, let him feel like the big strong man. When you're really in charge you let people think what they want for their own happiness, true or not.. because you know you got it.

Try to bring up a positive to any negative he speaks of.

When you bring up an issue start with something positive then get to what bothered you.  "Compliment sandwich"

"I know your intentions are never to make me jealous or bother me but since we're open with each other, I just want to let you know that _________________ bothered me last night.  I'm sure you didn't see it that way but it was on my mind so I just wanted to let you know how I was feeling about it." Make sure to go to bed happy.

When he's good to you, he's your King.

Tips: Resources


Don’t go through his phone, I'm telling you right now - you're never going to find anything good so just don't put yourself in that situation. God always has a better plan when you're the good person.

Don’t get so angry. Cool, calm and collected >>

Don’t bring up the “what are we” talk.  Please don't.

Don’t give a guy shit if he wants to go out, you are not his keeper.

Don’t try and set rules right away.

Don't put up a public picture of you guys before he does, just don't.

Don't bad mouth other girl, it always makes you look bad/insecure.

Don't talk about how many dudes are into you.

Don't cancel or re-arrange plans in hopes to hang out with him, keep your agenda exactly the same and add him in however you can.

Never allow waiting for someone to become a habit.

Don't drag out problems.

I'm a strong believer in not saying "I love you" first, just something to trust me on... say at your own risk.

Don't get drunk and/or have him take care of you.  If you're planning on getting wasted, it's better to turn your phone off to keep you from doing anything you'll regret.

Don't try PDA first in public (hand holding, kissing, etc.)

Don't over stay your welcome. I can't stress this enough. Be the girl who sneaks out while he's still sleeping, you have a busy day ahead of you, just please whatever you do do not stay long enough for him to think, when is she leaving?

Don't ever disrespect his family.

Don't ever fight another girl for any dude. NO ONE.

Don't force him to be a part of any plan he doesn't want to be a part of. It works out for you in the long haul.

Don't come off as a damsel in distress, that makes the hottest girl go from 100 to 0 real quick.

Don't call him out in front of his friends or family, you guys are supposed to look out for each other and be on the same team.

Don't compete with him. If it gets competitive, take it back a notch and remind him that it's you two on one team

Don't bring up the past. Look it's just not OK. If you chose to give him another chance and you chose to continue to work it out then leave the past in the past. Few things are worse than a someone who can't let go of the past.... you've don't want to be that nuisance. If you can't get over the past, get over the guy and move on -- no point in the both of you being miserable.

Don't expect a ring if you've been dating 7 years and he hasn't proposed yet, you're already playing housewife.

Don't go to bed upset.

Don't hesitate to give a guy a little taste of his medicine as long as it isn't spiteful.

Don't hang out with him every time he asks. This applies to new relationships or one you've been in for a while. You have no idea how long a guy will wait.  I'm talking from personal experience here. Sometimes I'm seriously dumbfounded at how long a guy will stick around when you are continuously busy with other plans.

Don't try and make him jealous.

Don't ever ask him for his passwords to anything, insecurities are so unattractive.  If it's getting to that point, it's best you two break up.

Don't keep taking your ex back.  There's too many people in the world to keep giving the same people more than once chance.

Don't put them first if you always come last, never give your all if you only get half.

Don't become easily snappy or irritable

Don't create problems where there are no problems, don't just let any little thing eff up your mood.

Don't ever blow his phone up unless it's a life or death situation

Don't ever show up at his place unexpected, or go outside his place to check if he's there.  I shouldn't even have to type this.

Tips: Resources
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